101 Rules Of Power Metal Опции

[Lanfear]

http://forums.nzgamer.com/index.php?showtopic=9495

Нещо забавно за пауър метъла - фен съм но си се смях с глас на някои места


Извинявам се ако е пускано преди, поне аз не съм забелязала...

[MadHatter]

Epic. Tight. Pants.

[Warrior Of Ice]

Това заслужава нова тема направо. Kvlt!

[lodborg]

Obfuscation is epic!

[Warrior Of Ice]

96. If you see a black metaller in the woods pretending to be a troll, see rule #9 and rule #63.

[Twilightfall]

16. If at all possible, be Michael Kiske.
17. If this is not possible, pretend to be Michael Kiske.

24. If you can't be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki.
25. Actually, don't be Timo Tolkki.

АХАХХАХАХХА :Д

[Crafter]

38. Fortunately, you don't need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.

82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.
83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key.

Всъщност последното си е трагичната истина. Да живее Eb m.

[Night]

Не слушам много пауър, но тези "правила" отговарят на действителността

73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.

ROFLMAO

[Ta' Zhal]

51 Rules of Power Metal

1. No matter what you do, you are gay
2. Don’t enjoy ManOwar, they are gay
3. Never go outside carrying a sword.
4. Don’t hold you sword and scream “poweeeeeer of steeel”. That is gay
5. Do not talk about fantasy lyrics as if they belong in metal.
6. Do not talk about fantasy worlds.
7. Never talk about hobbits. Hobbits are gay
8. Do not have a band that has the word or variation of the word Elf in it.
9. Don’t say Hail and Kill. That is quite homosexual.
10. Avoid saying, “man that guy sure has a great falsetto!”
11. If most of the singers in the bands you enjoy have voices higher than your girlfriend, you are gay
12. Scratch that, you have no girlfriend.
13. Do not buy a cd that has the word Dragon in it. Dragons are not gay but you cannot push your luck.
14. Avoid referring to Hammerfall as “the saviours“, or “the templars”.
15. Don’t listen to Hammerfall more that twice a year. Hammerfall are gay
16. Do not live in your parents basement.
17. Do not live with your parents.
18. Do not ask your mother to wash your Tolkien underwear.
19. Try to play chords that do not sound like 2nd rate Helloween.
20. That’s all you know? You are gay
21. Do not go to Renaissance fairs. That is beyond gay
22. If you go do not wear a Peter Pan outfit.
23. Do NOT carry your sword.
24. If you see a maiden ask for a blowjob.
25. Don’t talk to her about ManOwar. Refer to rule 2.
26. Do not refer to intercourse as “returning the dragon to its lair”
27. Scratch that. You do not have intercourse.
28. Do not listen to faggoth.
29. Power Metal and Faggoth combined make you a drag queen.
30. Do not get offended when people say that Stratovarius sounds like Helloween.
31. Do not write personal letters to Timo Tolkki.
32. Avoid saying “Slays.”
33. Don’t refer to Death Metal as “cookie monster crap”.
34. If you do not like Death Metal, pretend to know something about it.
35. Cradle of Filth are not Death Metal. Fag!
36. Cradle of Filth are not Black Metal. Fag!
37. Never enjoy Cradle of Filth. See 101 Rules of Black Metal.
38. Don’t masturbate to a picture of Yngwie Malmsteen.
39. Don’t masturbate to a picture of ManOwar. Cretin.
40. Don’t masturbate wearing leather.
41. Don’t masturbate wearing armour.
42. Switch hands.
43. Avoid saying the word “Power” too often.
44. If you have a band do not use the following words in your song titles: Metal, False, True, Metal, Sword, Steel, Heathen, Warrior, Metal, Kings, Battles.
45. Try to communicate with non-metal listeners. Do not brush them off as Posers.
46. Do not wear frilly shirts. Leave that up to Boy George.
47. Never say “Heavy metal or no metal at all”. In other words, don't be gay
48. Don’t wear loin cloths. You know what’s coming. gay
49. Don’t scream “metal brother” at concerts unless you like beatings.
50. Don't be Dani Filth...err i mean, NEVER carry your sword outside your house!
51. Refer to rule 1.

[scion_of_storm]

ахаххаха, епик си е, епик :Д

[gadabout]

Явно всеки стил си има такива правила, които впрочем винаги са верни. Писани от фенове за фенове.

[ludspamer]

Тфа смуче в сравнение с правилата на блек метълиста

[Despair]

Не, правилата на блека не съществуват в сравнение с това

54. So, male lead singes should sound like female singers.

и, безспорно

82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.
83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key.
84. Guitarists, remember: dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da…

[Rolf]

Хаха, култово! Някои са изключително забавни, а други са си съвсем верни. Това за Киске например...

[LordZombie]

Култ....and don't be Timo Tolkki

[crazyfan_metal]

Има верни . Мерси за споделянето .
91. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity.

[conguestadors]

Някой може ли да го преведе за такива хора като мен (тъпънар), които не знаят достатачно добре английски.

[Twilightfall]

101 правила на пауър метъла:

1. Целта ти е една: бъди епичен.
2. Нека няма самотни звуци. Ако има китарно соло, хармонизирай го. Ако има пеене, нека бъде с хор.
3. Кийбордите предлагат начини да добавяш стотици различни ефекти?(textures) към песента. Намери си два, които ти харесват и ги използвай във всяка песен, която напишеш.
4. В света на пауър метълът всичко стоманено е хубаво, и всичко хубаво трябва да бъде сравнявано със стомана.
5. Не си задължен да пееш за Сатаната, злото, и/или мрака.
6. Задължен си да пееш за дракони, свобода, и/или пауър метъл.
7. Нали помниш, че трябва да няма самотни звуци? Същото важи и за албумите. Всичко може да има продължение!
8. Позволено ти е бъдеш рус.
9. Мечовете повишават твоята правдоподобност и изпълнението ти. Винаги носи един, независимо дали знаеш как се използва, или не.
10. Избери си тема и не я сменяй. Manowar са воините на истинския метъл, и не пеят за нищо друго. Rhapsody имат техните хроники за Algalord. Hammerfall пеят за стомана, чукове, и тамплиери. Running Wild за пирати. Blind Guardian за Толкин. Никои от тях не си позволяват да пеят за нещо друго.
11. Ако трябва да пееш за нещо различно, направи си страничен проект. Avantasia е перфектния образец.
12. Баладите са позволени.
13. That doesn't mean your ballads can suck.
14. Колкото по-дълга е песента, толкова по-епична е. Виж правило #1.
15. Повече сола - повече епичност.
16. Ако е възможно, бъди Майкъл Киске.
17. Ако не е възможно, претендирай, че си Майкъл Киске.
18. Обложката на албума ти трябва да съдържа някои от следните неща: огън, стомана, странни светещи вълшебни предмети, мусколести мъжаги, юмруци издигнати във въздуха, оръжия, магически създания (за предпочитане дракони), или ярки снопове лъчи около някого/нещо.
19. 'Зловещ' и 'некро' не важат тук; те те правят да изглеждаш глупав. Сега се връщай да пееш 20 минутната ти епична песен за убивне на дракони!
20. Пауър метъла се уповава на мощни акорди.
21. 16th notes are the only notes (Шейснайсетините са единствените ноти, предполагам се превежда).
22. Unless you're singing, in which case you are not permitted to hold a note for any less than 2 bars.
23. Keyboards get solos, too.
24. If you can't be Michael Kiske, you can at least be Timo Tolkki.
25. Actually, don't be Timo Tolkki.
26. In case you didn't know, "symphonic" is synonymous with "epic." See rule #1.
27. Just because 300 bands before you have already done "epic," there's always room for more.
28. Songs come in two tempos: metal and ballad.
29. You are officially the only group of people who can refer to themselves as 'mighty' without being laughed at. Much.
30. Audiences need to be able to sing along. Make it catchy.
31. Sing in English, even though your fan-base will be comprised entirely of Brazilians, Germans, Japanese, Swedes, and Finns. See rule #30: if it's not catchy, it's harder to sing in a language that is not your first.
32. Play in as many bands as possible. More side projects and guest appearances means more epic!
33. Tight. Pants.
34. You don't have to detune your guitars.
35. Though you probably should drop them a half-step.
36. Unfortunately, you need at least two guitar players. How else are you going to have dueling guitar solos?
37. Keyboards may substitute for one guitar player, as long as they can solo.
38. Fortunately, you don't need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.
39. Begin all songs with one big swelling chord on the keyboard.
40. Acoustic guitars are allowed. Sometimes.
41. It's not a tour, it's a crusade!
42. Layer your vocals, hundreds upon hundreds of times. Don't worry about them live.
43. Never use mundane words in your lyrics. Nothing is epic if you don't use words like "majesty," "glorious," "magical," and so on.
44. Wizards! You need wizards!
45. Although your costume does not require corpse paint, it will require a cape, lots of jewelry, and the aforementioned swords.
46. Unless you are Manowar, in which case you are too metal for clothing.
47. Come to think of it, don't be Manowar.
48. Wear armor if at all possible. Hammerfall can give you an idea of the variety of acceptable armors, ranging from leather to ring-mail.
49. Songs don't begin at full speed. Gradually work your way into an epic frenzy.
50. Hail true metal!
51. Acoustic guitars are for intros and bridges. Then crush them with steel.
52. Epic. Tight. Pants.
53. Higher vocals are epic vocals. Female lead singers are great for this.
54. So, male lead singes should sound like female singers. See rule #52.
55. True warriors can tell the difference between albums.
56. Concept albums are totally epic. Nobody will ever see it coming.
57. Liner notes must include pages of backstory, either of your epic saga of conquest over dragons and evil or of your epic battles with alcoholism while recording the album.
58. Drugs aren't metal.
59. Beer, however, can be served in all kinds of true metal ways.
60. "Flagons of ale." It's appropriate to your fantasy-riddled lyrics, and it almost looks like "dragons," so you score extra points.
61. Since you can't get away with grunts, growls, and other troll-like noises, you will have to sing.
62. Your accent will show as a consequence.
63. To compensate, sing about killing trolls. Preferably with the swords that you carry onstage.
64. More sequels = more epic. See rule #7.
65. Guest vocalists, guest guitarists, and any special appearances from outside your band will make your sound more epic, even if the track sounds just like all the other songs on the album with an extra solo.
666. Norsk Arysk Blak Metal! Rahhh!!!
67. Begin songs at half-tempo, and then, when listeners least expect it (i.e. at exactly the same time it happens in all your other songs) kick into full speed complete with double-bass and power chords.
68. Bass players: one note. Really fast.
69. But include one enormous crazy-ass bass fill before the chorus, even though the production will bury you so far in the mix that most people won't realize your band has a bass player.
70. Just because you don't play black metal doesn't mean you can't use Tolkein.
71. Whenever you short of ideas, pick up your Dungeons and Dragons books. You might as well be the first band to sing about owlbears.
72. Never leave Europe.
73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.
74. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too.
75. Orchestras make a great addition to your album. Since you can't afford one, find a new patch on your keyboard.
76. If your live album does not have the crowd singing all the harmony parts for you, you aren't epic enough to justify a live album.
77. If you are European, use as many archaic English words in your lyrics as you can. Obfuscation is epic!
78. If you are South American, your lyrics should be closer to standard English, though nobody will ever read them.
79. If you are U.S. American, you probably aren't actually a power metal band. Sing about tanks, or something.
80. If you are Italian, write some lyrics in Latin. Your American fans won't be able to tell the difference between your Italian lyrics and your Latin ones, but Latin is epic.
81. Remember, shaving is epic, haircuts are not.
82. Entire albums must be recorded in the same key.
83. For that matter, entire careers may also be recorded in the same key.
84. Guitarists, remember: dun da-da dun da-da dun da-da…
85. Make your band logo very angular, but perfectly legible.
86. More than a logo, you need a mascot.
87. He need not be distinguishable from Eddie, but he does need to be on all your album covers.
88. At your first gig, if you feel a "rising force", do be sure not to get it all over your audience.
89. Record your best songs unplugged, and sell them as an EP.
90. Do not expect anyone to buy the EP.
91. Remember, power metal fans are not gay. They are just comfortable with their masculinity.
92. Sing along.
93. Don't get caught singing along.
94. Glitter is not epic.
95. Neither is body oil. See rule #47.
96. If you see a black metaller in the woods pretending to be a troll, see rule #9 and rule #63.
97. In your liner notes, thank everybody you toured with, even if they're Stratovarius.
98. Complain about Stratovarius constantly even though you've bought all their albums and listen to them more than anything else in your collection.
99. Power metal must be pure; do not mix it with other metal styles.
100. To repeat: be epic.
101. I ran out of funny things to say way back at rule #52, but any less than 101 rules would so not be epic.

Утре ще го довърша и ще го постна, че трябва да излизам.

[conguestadors]

Много ти благодаря. Като дойда в Плевен ще черпя.

17. Ако не е възможно, претендирай, че си Майкъл Киске.

[Lanfear]

ОМГ !
Това НЕ беше замислено като тема а просто мнение но явно съм спала с отворени очи....
ХАХАХА!
Влизам си аз в профила и виждам някаква нова тема, че съм пуснала...омФг...

Е, тогава можем да пускаме всякакви "правила" и тем подобни бъзици в тази тема..

Ицо, може ли само да я преместиш в общия ако сметнеш за необходимо защото ми се вижда малко неподходяща за тук или?


ПП - Казаха ми, че нашия модератор решил, че това трябва да бъде тема и е обособил мнението ми от темата за вицове в такава. Хахаха!
Така че Ицо явно вече си преценил темата да си остане тук . Само следващия път дали може да пускаш ЛС защото ми докара голям стрес докато се чудех как може да халюцинирам дотолкова, че да не помня, че съм пускала цяла тема хахаха!

[lodborg]

Казаха ми, че нашия модератор решил, че това трябва да бъде тема и е обособил мнението ми от темата за вицове в такава.

Не знам кой ти го е казал, но яко те е изментил. Нищо не съм пипал. Ицо просто е преместил няколко коментара в нова тема.

[fewgtg]

72. Never leave Europe.
73. For purposes of rule #72, Japan may be counted as part of Europe.
74. Oh, and South America was colonized by Europeans, so it can count too.

[Lanfear]

Казаха ми, че нашия модератор решил, че това трябва да бъде тема и е обособил мнението ми от темата за вицове в такава.

Не знам кой ти го е казал, но яко те е изментил. Нищо не съм пипал. Ицо просто е преместил няколко коментара в нова тема.

Мммм, исках да напиша админ обаче ... както обикновено блея

[Airin Of Ancelot]

Владеят, но все пак правилата на блека си остават ненадминати!

Fortunately, you don't need a bass player! Or at least, you never have to use the same bassist twice.

Хихи

[sharon]

The Epic Sequel to the 101 Rules of Power Metal

[Ghost]

Това е нещо велико...

35. Iron Maiden is the father.
36. Dragonforce is the Son.
37. Tolkien is the Holy Ghost.