21 Rules of Technical Metal Опции

[Warrior Of Ice]

http://www.666metal.com/articles/showartic...le.cfm?artID=60


За който не може да отвори линка:

You may have seen the 101 rules of this or that type of metal on the net before, and that was what inspired me to come up with a set of rules for technical metal. Okay, so I didn’t come up with 101, but it’s a little more difficult since tech metal doesn’t really have an established scene or image associated with it. When I say technical metal, I am using it as a general term that applies to bands such as Atheist, Cryptopsy, Cynic, Emperor, Gorguts, Liquid Tension Experiment, Meshuggah, Spastic Ink, Spiral Architect, Theory in Practice, Watchtower, etc. I’m a big fan of all these bands and I admire their willingness to push the limits of complex songwriting, but there’s nothing wrong with poking a little fun at something you love, especially since it kills time, and time must die. So without further ado, here are my 21 Rules of Technical Metal:

1. Your band should contain at least 1 ex-member of Watchtower, or failing that, your band should be heavily influenced by Watchtower, or failing that, your band should at least live in a Watchtower.

2. There’s nothing wrong with having 5 guitarists, or multi-tracking 5 layers of guitar on your album, or cloning yourself so you can play 5 guitar parts at once.

3. No matter how weird your main band is, have a side-project that’s even weirder.

4. Your lyrics should revolve around one of the following themes:

- Metaphysics
- The structure of space
- A dark future
- The dark future of the structure of space

5. Write a concept album about the evils of technology, then digitally edit it on your laptop computer and mix it in your state-of-the-art home studio.

6. Record two guitar solos, a bass solo, a drum solo, and a keyboard solo, then layer them all together with Pro Tools and call it a song.

7. Whenever possible, your songs should include a section where the bass is doing something really impressive but completely unrelated to the rest of the music.

8. If you can’t pull off 7 time changes in 6 seconds, you’re not technical.

9. If you thought the CD was skipping the first time you listened to Meshuggah, you’re not technical.

10. Release a new album every 7 years (or never). It’s not time for a new album until people think you’ve broken up.

11. If you’re able to move around onstage while playing your songs, you’re not technical enough.

12. If people have no trouble headbanging to your songs, you’re not technical enough.

13. You were inspired to form a band because of Iron Maiden – not because of their unique style, but because of the last few seconds of their songs when they all go crazy on their instruments.

14. Engage in an argument about whether or not Meshuggah’s music contains polyrhythms, then make a reference to that argument in a pointless article.

15. When playing a diminished triad of pentacostal adagios in double time over a 37/9 beat, make sure you rotate the quasi-syncopation to coincide with the harmonic minor equinox.

16. If you didn’t understand the last rule, you’re not technical.

17. If you think you understood it, you’re full of shit and you’re not technical.

18. When writing new material, remember the three P’s: Pointlessness, Pretentiousness, and Pompousness.

19. When reading album reviews, be sure to look for adjectives such as “pointless”, “pretentious”, and “pompous”. Chances are, these will be totally awesome technical metal albums.

20. If someone tells you that tech metal is too clinical and not emotional enough, explain to them that tech metal is exciting and that excitement is an emotion, then kindly accept their apology for being such an ignoramus.

21. Name your band “Ignoramus” and tell people you play a sub-genre of math-metal called trigonometry metal. If they reply by telling you that “play a sub-genre” is like saying “perform a category” and that it’s improper grammar, tell them they are getting too technical.



Съвсем пресни са.

[SepulTeraHead]

tell people you play a sub-genre of math-metal called trigonometry metal

HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!1

[_SiegfrieD_]

Only True Space Technical Metal

[Svetyl]

15. When playing a diminished triad of pentacostal adagios in double time over a 37/9 beat, make sure you rotate the quasi-syncopation to coincide with the harmonic minor equinox.

16. If you didn’t understand the last rule, you’re not technical.

17. If you think you understood it, you’re full of shit and you’re not technical.

Ami ako si razbral 15-toto napolowina?????

Name your band “Ignoramus” and tell people you play a sub-genre of math-metal called trigonometry metal.

Lele sq ako na taq grupa pesnite bqha i resheniq na nqkoi zadachi...

[SepulTeraHead]

Тва е идея! Tr00 N0rsk от днес свирят trigonometry metal! Формулите ще са текстове!

[_SiegfrieD_]

Тва е идея! Tr00 N0rsk от днес свирят trigonometry metal! Формулите ще са текстове!

И ти ще ги пишеш.
Или ако правите нещо свързано с Космоса мн ще ти тичат едни антенки

[Sw1tched]

Аз все още се затруднявам да се мърдам насам натам из дупката докато свиря => явно съм достатъчно техничен

[Crafter]

Аз все още се затруднявам да се мърдам насам натам из дупката докато свиря => явно съм достатъчно техничен

=> а аз олицетворявам нетехничността! Мамка му!

Следващият път като Суит ми каже:

"Идеята беше да направиш прост риф, а не да го усложняваш" ще му кажа, че не е достатъчно техничен!


А така! Всъщност... вие сте ебати не-техничните... все ми викате, че не баса не трябва да се чува и да е прост.... А виждате ли, че трябва да има басови сола!

[Sw1tched]

Аз все още се затруднявам да се мърдам насам натам из дупката докато свиря => явно съм достатъчно техничен 

=> а аз олицетворявам нетехничността! Мамка му!

Следващият път като Суит ми каже:

"Идеята беше да направиш прост риф, а не да го усложняваш" ще му кажа, че не е достатъчно техничен!


А така! Всъщност... вие сте ебати не-техничните... все ми викате, че не баса не трябва да се чува и да е прост.... А виждате ли, че трябва да има басови сола!

това е защото правим емоционален а не техниен Метъл
и прочети няколко пъти
"the bass is doing something really impressive but completely unrelated to the rest of the music" докато го разбереп

[Warrior Of Ice]

Не пречи метълът хем да е емоционален, хем да е техничен. Виж Death.

[alpha prime]

Аз все още се затруднявам да се мърдам насам натам из дупката докато свиря => явно съм достатъчно техничен 

wsy6tnost w onowa ogromno pomeshtenie si e naprawo bezbojie da ne se dwiji6 dokat zabiwa6

wsy6tnost nali imashe nqkwi prawila na black metyla ?te bqha kult

[Crafter]

Ех, мамка му! Верно, че не праим техничен метъл.

Начи аз ще продължавам да си куфея докато свиря