Благодарности на bladealslayer за настоящото четиво, отдавна не бях попадал на забавни "правила" за даден стил.

1. Study at a conservatory, it makes you sound more believeworthy.
2. Claim not to like classical music, but know your classics.
3. Hire a female singer, with preferably a sorpano or mezzo-soprano voice.
4. If possible one that can sing opera.
5. Make sure the keyboard of your band sounds somewhat like a violin.
6. Write at least one song with the word 'symphony' in its title.
7. Or cover it..
8. Make sure you know about all symphonic metalbands there are, you never know if you're gonna need to tour with them to get more famous.
9. Your band also needs a male singer.
10. It would be perfect if he also plays an instrument.
11. But you could also aks a well-known grunter to team up with you for a song or two.
12. Be Nightwish' biggest fan.
13. If possible: Be Nightwish.
14. Have a viking with an astounishing voice in your band. *ahem*Marco Hietala
15. Preferably with a lot of musical experience.
16. Become the supporting act of a band like Iron Maiden, it doesn't matter that they aren't symphonic, just as long as their wellknown, and is possible: legendary!
17. Record at least a few songs on your CDs with an orchestra.
18. Don't bring an orchestra along for the shows when you're touring.
19. Except for the last show of the tour.
20. Be scandinavian, dutch or german.
21. Italian is possible too.
22. If you're American it's highly doubtable that you can be symphonic metal.
23. Then you'll most likely be stuck with gothic rock or metal.
24. Don't be Amy Lee.
25. In fact: Don't be Evanescence.
26. Two words: Gothic dresses!
27. Have at least one composing mastermind in your band.
28. This should be a man that pours out his soul in his music.
29. Listen to Evanescence, The Rasmus and HiM: This is NOT how you want to sound.
30. Record an accoustic version of one of your most popular songs.
31. Never, EVER say that you're gothic.
32. When you fire your leadsinger, you should do so in an open letter.
33. Record at least one song that is about an epic journey.
34. Covering it is even better..
35. Especially if the song is 'Over the hills and far away' by Gary Moore.
36. Never let a guitarsolo last longer than a minute!
37. An instrumental intro which is longer than one and a half minute is acceptable however.
38. Record at least one song in your motherslanguage, it sounds exotic.
39. Write at least one song that will make your female fans cry when you perform it.
40. The most attractive male in your band has to wear make-up, it turns 13-year old goths on.
41. Did I mention that you should have Nightwish as your rolemodel and biggest inspiration?
42. Very important: master your instrument perfectly.
43. Never be cocky about your skills.
44. Make a different version of your album for Japan.
45. And finally: Just be symphonic.

Не ми се стори чак толкова смешно...

Хах, има някои попадения... Като това:



Или 32, 40...

Tuomas

Хайде, хайде, и Jukka се гримира. Даже, в интерес на истината, май той е мъжкият секссимвол в Nightwish.

39. Write at least one song that will make your female fans cry when you perform it.

А, да, гаврата с Nightwish е леко осезаема, почти не се усеща...

тц, момент.... имам чувството,че тук има някаква гавра, с група, която обичам....но все още не съм сигурна.

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п.с.: Мисля, че Туомас е "секс символа", но моя любимец е Марко....

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п.п.с: Най-много, на 'такова' съм се смяла на една гавра с блек метъл беше, ставаше дума за Димо от ПИФ най-вече.

Преводът доста беше осакатил блек метъл правилата. Ето оригиналът.

Хахаха, блекарските са си trve kvlt.

Това очевидно е писано от фен на Nightwish... или от някой, който не може да ги понася.