Най-лошите и абсурдни ревюта на албуми, които сте чели Опции

[abydos]

Това би трябвало да е интересна тема, ако се развие и има потенциал да е доста забавна .
Споделете най-лошите ревюта, на които сте попадали. Обикновено най-забавни са такива за албуми, които са доказали влиянието и качеството си през годините. Ще започна аз с ревю на един от най-любимите ми албуми Terria на канадския музикален психопат Devin Townsend.
Предлагам на пост да не се пускат по повече от 2 ревюта, за да не се затлачи темата. Нека и покоментираме и да се посмеем на тези ревюта и хората, които са ги писали . По възможност дайте и линк към ревюто.

This music describes the best what is a monolithic electric guitar! I have never heard a more monolithic electric rhythmic guitar than on this record: that's completely ridiculous! This brutal guitar is so distorted and polluted with tons of useless effects that it takes all the available room! As if it was not enough, the musician seems to take a huge pleasure to exaggeratedly sustain each note, a painful torment for the ears! The rhythmic guitar is COMPLETELY unmelodious. The lead vocals are just simply too angry and aggressive for me. When the lead vocals are more mellow, they amazingly remind me David Gilmour and James LaBrie. There are some good acoustic guitar parts. There are some unconvincing TV or radio sounds, a much worse copy of Roger Waters' effects: they seem too coarsely produced. You can hear some whales-like sounds. There are some rare good passages, so that, globally, this record is not worth a complete listen. The only track that retained more my attention is "Deep peace", starting with an imitation of David Gilmour's voice; an Oldfield-esque guitar solo then begins, followed by an Hillage-esque one, featuring his spacy ambience from the "Green" album; then, it changes to a VERY modest & much slower attempt to emulate the symphonic Yngwie Malmsteen himself. This VERY rebel music is probably perfect for the young people who like disturbing moods.

Rating: 1.5 star

Source: http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=61487

За много години!

[Wolfheart]

KREATOR – OUTCAST.

Well. Certainly Stonecold had made a good interpretation of “Outcast” in his review. Yes, it’s one the band’s less thrashy albums and yes, it’s got lots of abominable and horrendous moments.

The album starts off with “Leave This World Behind” which is a nice post-thrash number with some groove-laden riffs and it moves at a decent mid pace but shamefully that won’t last as next comes “Phobia” which sounds like fucking groove/mallcore with Mille screaming “Is there someone following you” and no riffs backing him and then the chorus riff is completely stupid half-thrash, and what about those random noise effects? Utter shit.

“Forever” is another stupid and masturbatory mid-paced groove shit. It’s like Pantera but with electronic, distorted vocals and less balls. “Black Sunrise” is a plodding mellow ballad with whispered vocals that fails to make you feel everything except shame and anger against those sell-out bitches.

“Nonconformist”, “Enemy Unseen” and “Whatever It May Take” are all carved with the same stone; the three of them are mallcorish and incoherently imbecile, especially for a band like Kreator.

The title track is slow-paced but yet quite decent, it’s like Kyuss but not that gay. In fact it’s quite effective. “Stronger Than Before” is more groove shit as is “Ruin For Life”. Way to go guys, this sounds like Machine Head but with 1 riff per song and a human vocalist. “Alive Again” is another fucking mishmash that plods along at mid pace and unfolds a whole variety of groove-infested riffs.

Next is “Against The Rest” and this is the only good song on this damn album. The drums are loud in a punk way and if it wasn’t for the stupid noises on the background this could have been damn effective. Still, it’s quite good. The album ends with “A Better Tomorrow” which begins with some cool fast-picked riffage but then it ends sounding like Sepultura with the new vocalist.

Conclusion: Kreator have now become mallcore Meshuggah wannabes and that’s a shame.