Най-лошите и абсурдни ревюта на албуми, които сте чели Опции

[abydos]

Това би трябвало да е интересна тема, ако се развие и има потенциал да е доста забавна .
Споделете най-лошите ревюта, на които сте попадали. Обикновено най-забавни са такива за албуми, които са доказали влиянието и качеството си през годините. Ще започна аз с ревю на един от най-любимите ми албуми Terria на канадския музикален психопат Devin Townsend.
Предлагам на пост да не се пускат по повече от 2 ревюта, за да не се затлачи темата. Нека и покоментираме и да се посмеем на тези ревюта и хората, които са ги писали . По възможност дайте и линк към ревюто.

This music describes the best what is a monolithic electric guitar! I have never heard a more monolithic electric rhythmic guitar than on this record: that's completely ridiculous! This brutal guitar is so distorted and polluted with tons of useless effects that it takes all the available room! As if it was not enough, the musician seems to take a huge pleasure to exaggeratedly sustain each note, a painful torment for the ears! The rhythmic guitar is COMPLETELY unmelodious. The lead vocals are just simply too angry and aggressive for me. When the lead vocals are more mellow, they amazingly remind me David Gilmour and James LaBrie. There are some good acoustic guitar parts. There are some unconvincing TV or radio sounds, a much worse copy of Roger Waters' effects: they seem too coarsely produced. You can hear some whales-like sounds. There are some rare good passages, so that, globally, this record is not worth a complete listen. The only track that retained more my attention is "Deep peace", starting with an imitation of David Gilmour's voice; an Oldfield-esque guitar solo then begins, followed by an Hillage-esque one, featuring his spacy ambience from the "Green" album; then, it changes to a VERY modest & much slower attempt to emulate the symphonic Yngwie Malmsteen himself. This VERY rebel music is probably perfect for the young people who like disturbing moods.

Rating: 1.5 star

Source: http://www.progarchives.com/Review.asp?id=61487

За много години!

[Aggressive Perfe...]

^Ама тоя наистина е тъп:
At the Gates - Slaughter of the Soul

A less annoying The Haunted - 38%
Written by UltraBoris on May 21st, 2003

So imagine if The Haunted actually threw in more than one thrash riff per career, and didn't have that idiot of a hardcore barker doing vocals... well, you'd get this album. This is pretty much staple Gothenburg death metal, with some decent riffage every once in a while... unfortunately every once in a while it succumbs to the absolute wretched dynamic excesses that make Dark Tranquillity and the other mainstays of the genre so unlistenable. These two cardinal sins are: a) Drop the guitars and make the vocals the main point of the song, and 2) lots of overlong noodling without real riff intensity.

The first two songs are straightforward and solid, with even a nice thrash riff in Blinded by Fear popping up - then Cold is where the album reveals its true "melodic" character... there's the silly acoustic passage around 1.45 and then the solo over the really fucking boring midpaced riff right after that. Then, the end of Under a Serpent Sun has the vocals interlude. Yeah, if you like Gothenburg, you'll like this one.

Then there's the dumb interlude "Into a Dead Sky", which then returns us to the "usual" sound of fast not-quite-thrash riffage of Suicide Nation. The Haunted fans, listen up... this is your album right here. The song gets better as it goes on, but it is still very repetitive. Suicide, suicide, suicide.... great.

The good parts of the album - decent solos and when they have fast riffs underneath they are quite enjoyable, it is the midpaced wankery that really sucks, and man these guys are good at that too - apparently to graduate from Gothenburg University you have to take a degree in that. Even the fast songs kinda blend into each other - the verse sections are completely interchangeable.

But hey, it's a massive step up over previous At the Gates, which was just absurdly bad.